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Channel Esther: “Fixing My Phone on Chanukah”
by Esther Cohen
THERE’S an Apple store
on the Upper West Side where I went
yesterday to fix the sound on my phone.
Apple Greeter Agamemnon he said it means
strong and inflexible born in Crete
told me not to worry I’d leave happy for sure.
Sent me downstairs to Odette from Senegal.
She put me on the list. Young Bengali Genius
Achintya a name for those who are Inconceivable
told me about an MRI for IPhones
I watched him twice as he put my phone
through Diagnostics and came up with an official
diagnosis: SHMUTZ said Achintya. Probably
lint from your bag. It means dirt he said.
SHMUTZ is a common problem.
I will remove it with my brush.
Esther Cohen‘s books include God Is a Tree, Book Doctor, and Don’t Mind Me and Other Jewish Lies. She is the Jewish Currents arts and public events consultant.