O My America: Here’s What You Do

By Lawrence Bush

Here’s what you do: You don’t bomb Syria. You place its chemical weapons under international control and destroy them. You give Putin a Nobel Peace Prize.

You open dialogue with the new leadership in Iran about mutual respect and their nuclear program. (You might begin by flashing a peace sign and offering an apology for decades of American interference with Iranian self-determination.) You work out an arrangement to place their nuclear program under international control, too, and you agree to their right to develop nuclear power (though you should advise them that it’s a big mistake, nuclear power sucks).

You STOP recruiting AIPAC and the American Jewish community to support bombing Syria in the name of showing Iran who’s boss. Iran sent a “Happy New Year” message to Jews for Rosh Hashone. Let’s send a “Back at Ya,” or “Norooz Mobarak.”

Then you call Netanyahu and you tell him, Either finish those negotiations with the Palestinians with a fair deal or else there’s going to be a MAJOR adjustment in your military aid. I don’t have to get reelected, Buddy. Watch out.